It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
