I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
