Walk of Shame. In a state park.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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