why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
