Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
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you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
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Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!