you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
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I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
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She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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