Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
