I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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