fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
