I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
