Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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