If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize