She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
