Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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