You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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