I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
