Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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