well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
