FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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