Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
