what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
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She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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