I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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