i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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