I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
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