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• (312): View more from Illinois

  she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  not while she was awake

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• (716): View more from New York

  You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  What?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"

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• (206): View more from Washington

  This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.

  (607): View more from New York

  I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.

  (1-435): View more from Utah

  umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...

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