my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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