There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
