Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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