She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
