i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
