So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
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I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!