You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.