I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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