was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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