Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics. http://tfl.nu/re5j

Replies (21) Good night (8243) Bad night (756)
Favorite
(518): View more from New York

im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): im in his phone as 'great ass to tap' http://tfl.nu/xhkl

Replies (26) Good night (10058) Bad night (1598)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight http://tfl.nu/2em9

Replies (20) Good night (14033) Bad night (801)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log. http://tfl.nu/ft0h

Replies (47) Good night (15441) Bad night (943)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze http://tfl.nu/sp88

Replies (51) Good night (1094) Bad night (7599)
Favorite
(773): View more from Illinois

Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(773): Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight. http://tfl.nu/f50l

Replies (5) Good night (4341) Bad night (829)
Favorite
(979): View more from Texas

his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(979): his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible. http://tfl.nu/lobz

Replies (15) Good night (4131) Bad night (1186)
Favorite
(903): View more from Texas

I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(903): I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up. http://tfl.nu/rp3b

Replies (9) Good night (2407) Bad night (1138)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): What sexual position says im sorry for your loss? http://tfl.nu/sjhl

Replies (27) Good night (2430) Bad night (845)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection http://tfl.nu/v7yu

Replies (2) Good night (841) Bad night (952)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.

(315): View more from New York

That's the best compliment I have ever received.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina. (315): That's the best compliment I have ever received. http://tfl.nu/0q70

Replies (5) Good night (2010) Bad night (418)
Favorite
(713): View more from Texas

Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(713): Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words" http://tfl.nu/ql9t

Replies (2) Good night (874) Bad night (464)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like. http://tfl.nu/91y5

Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (642)
Favorite
(705): View more from Ontario

So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(705): So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that. http://tfl.nu/fs4o

Replies (0) Good night (317) Bad night (526)
Favorite
(813): View more from Florida

! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(813): ! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup http://tfl.nu/9us7

Replies (0) Good night (660) Bad night (263)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: