Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
