I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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