I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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