i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
