People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
