haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
