some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
