I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
