that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
This is my gift to your gina
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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