How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize