this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
