i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
