ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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