3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
