ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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