I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
