You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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