just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
