That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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