Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
