dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hippo gnu deer
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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