Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she smelled like a LAN party
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
