It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
