You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
