she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Randomize
