This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
