i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
