you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
